dropalexdead:

I’m laughing so fucking hard rn, omg.

(Source: mynameisdavid23)

witness-protection-with-wings:

witness-protection-with-wings:

so when i was 8 i was in an episode of iCarly and even though i’m 16 now and i have a pixie cut my friends still tell everyone that i was in iCarly.

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i pushed another child off a bench and stole her sandwich this is my legacy

(Source: witnessprotectionwithwings)

grimelords:

Making out with a girl for the first time is the coolest thing and the second coolest thing is driving home and getting aware of all the parts of your face where she was and tasting her lip balm on your lips. The third coolest thing is outer space.